Flair magazine about bullying in the workplace

On March 8, 2023, Flair magazine published a major article about bullying in the workplace, which also featured our high class escort service. Various people speak about various aspects of bullying and forms of bullying. For example, owner Marike explains how she also has to deal with bullying during her work. Fortunately, it does not detract much from her job satisfaction. You can read a translated summary of the original article in Dutch below and on Flair's website, where they published the piece in two parts. Part 1 is about bullying in general and in part 2 people talk about their experiences, such as owner Marike of this high class escort service.

Oh man, it's just a joke

Bullying in the workplace is much more common than you probably think, and even more so since corona. This sometimes has major consequences for the victim. So the big question is: how do you - or your boss - stop bullying?

Everyone remembers the biggest bully in class from the past. When we think of 'bullying' we often think of children first, but it does not always stop at childhood. On the contrary: adults also have to deal with it. And since corona the numbers have increased.

Of all workers, 26% have had to deal with gossiping, making fun of, bullying or similar (bullying) behavior in the workplace, according to research by the CNV trade union. That is 2.3 million workers. Almost 1 in 5 people say that the atmosphere at work has deteriorated since the corona crisis. 11% of people who are bullied do not say anything about it: they are afraid of losing their job. 13% percent are bullied by their manager.

What exactly is bullying?

“Bullying is harassing someone, insulting them, excluding them socially, judging someone's work negatively every day,” says Verschuren. She emphasizes that it is never a single incident, but repeated and regular behavior that occurs weekly and over a longer period of time, for example six months to a year.

What is the difference with teasing?

“Teasing can be intended in a friendly manner, but can also be a mild form of bullying. If someone says, “It was just a joke,” they may have said something unpleasant. The rule that many confidential counselors apply is that it is not the bully who determines when it is bullying, but the person to whom it happens.”

Characteristics of bullies and people who are bullied

Is one person more susceptible than another to being a bully or bullied? According to Verschuren, in broad terms yes. Both perpetrator and victim often have the same characteristics – slightly more fear and sadness than average.

“The person being bullied is often 'selected' on the basis of social and/or cultural aspects, such as gender, age, color or sexual preference. Being different from the 'norm' is often a reason to bully.”

Marike (39) is the owner of Society Service, a high-end escort service

“My work provokes bullying. I often receive emails with texts such as: 'you are going to hell', 'you are a bad person', 'an exploiter', 'shame on you'. People still see my work as something controversial. When I started seventeen years ago, it was important to me that everyone liked me. If I received unpleasant reactions, I would sometimes email back and start a discussion.

Nowadays the hatred doesn't bother me much, but what is happening is transgressive. I have come to realize that it is not my fault, but the other person's fault. How frustrated are you when you start bullying? Some companies and institutions also do not want to work with us. For example, a creditcard merchant, the reason was that we would not have integrity. My company would fall into the horrific category of arms and human trafficking. The reality is that I am often excluded due to the nature of my business, which is also a form of bullying.”

Marike's tip: “I like to be heard when I tell someone how I am being excluded. That parts air up. It may sound obvious, but listen to the person who wants to tell their story.”