Why we do not discriminate based on appearance

Why Society Service never discriminates against clients based on appearance

Recently I received a message from a man that touched me deeply: he asked whether he would be welcome at Society Service despite his excess weight. He told me he had previously been rejected by sex workers for being overweight and therefore felt less wanted as a client. I found that painful to read. Refusing a client because he is fat is, in my view, not only disrespectful but also deeply hurtful to the person involved.

At Society Service I will never reject a client on the basis of skin colour, nationality, weight, clothing size, skin condition or any other physical characteristic. That simply does not play a role at Society Service. Appearance says nothing about who someone is, how someone treats others, or whether I can work with that person in a respectful way.

High class escort service with a focus on connection

I run a high class escort service in which authenticity and connection are central. Trust, respect and a mature way of communicating are much more important than appearance. Of course physical attraction plays a role in intimacy, but it cannot be reduced to one skin colour, one age or one body type. I look at attitude, intentions and the willingness to take my terms seriously, not at the scale. At the same time it is important to be honest about the reality in which I work.

Discrimination towards the escort sector

As an escort agency we are often excluded from very ordinary business services. Financial service providers, insurers and other parties drop out purely because we operate in this sector. I find that unpleasant and sometimes unjust, even if it can be explained to some extent from a business point of view as part of risk assessment. My understanding reaches much less far when I am discriminated against as a private person, but that is a topic for another moment.

When I do refuse a client

Precisely because I know what it feels like to be written off in advance as a sector, I refuse to treat clients in the same way. To reject someone because he or she does not fit a standard beauty ideal does not fit my values at all. That does not mean that every request is automatically accepted. Every company has the right to refuse a client, and that applies to me as well. The reason, however, is never skin colour, body type or appearance, but behaviour and content.

I say no when someone does not respect the consent policy, when boundaries and terms are ignored or stretched, or when someone only wants sex without any interest in the social, emotional and respectful context in which I offer my services. In such cases there is simply no match between the client’s expectations and what Society Service provides. In that situation I prefer to be clear rather than to go along at the expense of safety or integrity.

Honest about age, disability and a suitable match

There are also situations in which I coordinate with extra care in advance. That has nothing to do with the question of whether someone is welcome, but with whether I can provide the right experience. This may involve clients with a clear physical disability or clients of higher age. Some escorts know about themselves that a large age difference feels difficult to them, that they do not experience a natural emotional connection, or that in the case of a serious physical condition they are mainly occupied with care and caution. They then know that they cannot fully give themselves in the way they do during other bookings. Instead of pretending that this does not play a role, I choose to be honest about it in advance.

That is something completely different from discrimination based on skin colour, weight or clothing size. Discrimination basically says: you are not welcome because you are who you are. What I say is: you are welcome as a person, but I do look at whether I can match you with the right escort to offer you a genuinely good experience. If that is not possible, honesty is part of that. For clients who feel insecure about their appearance, I therefore want to make it as clear as possible: nothing about your appearance in itself is a reason for me to consider you less welcome. You do not have to justify your appearance at Society Service and you do not have to ask for permission before making a booking.

Equal treatment for every client

What I am strict about is the way you treat me and the escorts. Respect, discretion, honesty and taking consent and boundaries seriously are essential to me. If that basis is there, I am open to you, with your body, your story and your wishes. If you have been rejected in the past because of your appearance, I understand that it can be more difficult to contact an escort service again. That is exactly why I would rather say it once too often than once too little: at Society Service you are not discriminated against because of your appearance.