Training day at our escortservice, part 1

Biannual training day at Society Service: attentive touch

At 9:30 I arrive in Rotterdam with a bag full of groceries for our biannual training day. Within half an hour around thirty escorts from Society Service will arrive, mostly women and a few men. We are hosted by Door2Door, Rotterdam’s centre for sex workers.

The topics of these days are diverse. I ask the escorts what they need, and we base the first workshop of the day on that input. I choose the second part myself, with an eye on safety, professionalism and the needs of clients. It will not surprise you that the first part is usually the more exciting one, and today is no exception.

Workshop on yoni and lingam massage for our high class escorts

About thirty escorts from Society Service arrive one by one. A handful of escorts trickle in. Coats pile up, bags find a corner, someone pours coffee, someone else makes tea. This is not a high-heels parade. It feels like the start of a day where people happily hone their craft and see each other as they are: professional, curious, with humour. Simply people who take their work seriously and who want to learn, laugh, connect and get better at what they do.

We arrange the chairs in a wide circle. It remains a wonderfully simple gesture with a big effect. A circle takes the hierarchy out of the air and puts everyone on the same level, which makes eye contact more natural. Until everyone sits down and notices what a circle actually does. A quick first joke is made, a cup of tea is passed along, a notebook opens. The buzz quiets and attention sharpens.

Our regular trainer, Tania from Goedeminnaar.nl, leads a morning workshop focused on yoni (vagina) and lingam (penis) massage. As always, she does it with humour and flair, calm yet clear. She does not start with complex grips, but with the fundamentals: the difference between being in your head and feeling your body. In pairs, the escorts massage each other’s arm. The first time fast, inattentive, half present. The second time slower, with attention, making eye contact. The action is the same, the experience is not. This difference underpins the rest of the workshop: technique only works when it is carried by attention.

Tania repeats the basics of erotic massage for everyone who missed her previous workshop, with extra focus on body-to-body. Which pressure feels good, what rhythm does, how to let a pause fall without losing contact. After that short refresher, it is time for the main course: yoni and lingam massage. Although more than one friend offered to “be a model”, we use dildos and the artificial vagina “Jesse” to demonstrate and practise the techniques.

I must admit, it is quite a funny sight. Everyone watching so attentively, notebook at the ready, unconsciously copying the movements, sitting in a little circle. Seeing them together like this is not only fun for me as an intermediary, it makes me proud. Proud to have gathered such a good group of people I am allowed to represent, and proud that they enjoy their work enough to show up on a Sunday morning to learn something new and connect with their colleagues.

Techniques that spark the imagination…

Our expert demonstrates about ten penis strokes, each with its own name: lemon squeezer, ball roll, beak, vibrotor, shotgun and more. She draws with her hands what words cannot always capture: the angle of the wrist, the role of the thumb, how the heel of the hand supports without weighing down, the generous use of lube, when the tempo shifts and why that works. It is study, but not a stiff lecture.

For the yoni massage we use “Jesse”. An artificial vagina with buttocks that looks slightly comical and at the same time makes immediately clear why this is useful. Everyone can see what happens without anyone having to expose themselves. Tania demonstrates various techniques and it quickly becomes clear that female sexuality responds more complexly than male sexuality. That is why she keeps returning to the same core: keep communicating. Ask what someone feels, name what you notice yourself, check the tempo. A lovemaking session is not a sprint to a finish. There is no fixed script and certainly no stopwatch. Attention is not a luxury; it is a tool.

Every part of the vulva and vagina is covered, with the techniques for g-spot stimulation as the icing on the cake. Tania combines demonstration with jokes, down-to-earth facts and real-world examples. A few facts to share: Did you know most women need at least 10 to 15 minutes of foreplay to be aroused enough for penetration to feel pleasant? The vagina needs time to create space for penetration, and that space is created during foreplay and building arousal. And did you know the g-spot is not a button but tissue that becomes more receptive as blood flow increases? That squirting can be a reflex for some and does not automatically coincide with orgasm? These are exactly the facts that calibrate expectations and make conversations easier.

On that foundation Tania shows how a g-spot orgasm can develop as a full-body experience. Not a quick peak, but a wave that builds through pressure, direction, tempo, breath and rest. In the circle I see looks of disbelief and looks of recognition. There is giggling, serious nodding and plenty of note-taking. Everyone feels: with the right communication this is applicable.

The importance of communication with your high-class escort

Right before lunch we discuss the trickiest topic, the one that rarely gets time and yet makes all the difference: how to say that something does not feel good. A colleague shares that she finds it difficult to intervene when a client sincerely tries to give her pleasure, but not in a way that feels good to her. She does not want to break the mood, wants to remain kind and not reject the other person. The group thinks along, and the thread is clear: just name it. Take charge of your own pleasure. Say it as well when there are erection issues, when you are not relaxed enough for anal penetration, or when foreplay requires a different technique. Others cannot read minds, so make it discussable. During the booking, discuss what is exciting and pleasant for both. We all have an inner critic that chimes in, but during sex that voice may stand on the sidelines for a while. As soon as that is said out loud, the room lightens and touch becomes easier and better.

That concludes part 1 of the report of our training day. It is time for an hour’s break and a good lunch. In part 2 we will continue with the afternoon: neurodiversity without lecture jargon, a clear story about how brains differ, and how that helps you work better in practice as soon as tomorrow.