Eva Jinek writes about working as a high class escort
On February 1, Eva Jinek’s online platform published an article about our high class escort service in the section “What I would have liked to know before…”. In this item, two high class escorts are interviewed and they talk about what they would have liked to know before they started working as an high class escort. One of the interviewed escorts (Jill) works for Society Service. The other escort (Melanie) was employed elsewhere, which is why her experiences as an escort differ from the experiences at our escortservice. You can find the original publication in Dutch on the website of Eva Jinek. Read an English translation of the article here and check out the full article as well.
What I would have liked to know before… I became a high class escort
Hindsight is 20/20 they say: afterwards you know it all so well. Knowledge that is of no use to you, but that can help someone else. That is why we ask experienced experts in this section: what would you have liked to know before? This week Jill and Melanie open up about their experiences as an escort in the highest segment.
You travel monthly in private jets to exotic places, you are dressed 24/7 in designer clothing and you will probably have been traumatized once or more often in your life: just some of the prejudices that Jill and Melanie had to deal with as a high class escort. There is a collective fascination for their (former) profession, but beyond the image that the media presents us with this, it remains a question as to what actually lies behind that mysterious world. And then the wildest stories and fantasies are given free rein, against better judgment.
Who better than Jill (24), who works as an escort in addition to her university studies, and Melanie (28), who has done the same for a period in the past, to give us a glimpse into that much-discussed world? In any case, all those fantasy stories are right about one thing: the life of a high class escort is absolutely thrilling. Jill and Melanie share the most important lessons they learned from their adventurous job.
1. It’s not all about the money
Having sex with affluent men outside of college lectures is not exactly a house-garden-and-kitchen part-time job. There is therefore a considerable financial compensation in return. Cashing in hundreds of euros within a few hours sounds attractive, especially for a hard-working student who struggles to make ends meet every month. However, Jill and Melanie urge us, being guided by those dollar signs in your eyes is a very bad idea. “If you’re only in it for the money, you come home depressed after work. It’s not lying on your back and bringing in tons of money – quite the contrary”, says Melanie. “If you are in it for just that, you will soon find out that’s not going to work.”
Medical student Jill works at the exclusive Society Service, where she earns around 500 euros net per booking, and realizes all too well that she is better off financially than most of her peers. “A cashier has to do with a lot less every month, I know that. The fact that it earns well is a very nice bonus for me, so of course it is part of the consideration. But it has never been a very important motivation: I would be able to afford my lifestyle without this job as well”, she says.
Then why does she do this? “I’ve always been very curious about sex. It’s fantastic to be able to experiment in this way. Besides, I think it’s very exciting to have a kind of secret dual identity. During the day I am an ambitious medical student, in the evening I visit the chicest hotels dressed up on my stilettos. The tension that comes with such a blind date time and again is addictive.”
2. There is by no means always a private jet or Michelin restaurant involved
But make no mistake: the job is not all jaunts, opulence and Chanel N ° 5, even if series and movies like to make you believe so. The rates at the high class escort agencies don’t lie, so a date with such a gorgeous lady (or gentleman, or anything in between) is only reserved for the lucky few – or a smart saver. A date in an aggenebbish neighborhood is therefore extremely unusual, but such an extremely luxurious experience is also the exception rather than the rule.
Melanie, once working as an escort, has seen a lot of beautiful places in her relatively short career as an escort. The highlight? A two week trip to the Maldives. “But”, she says, “I’ve also been to less glamorous motels often enough. That was fine, I was a sex worker and you should be okay with that too, but it didn’t fit the reality sometimes portrayed by the media. Yes, some times it was preceded by oysters or champagne, but the lion’s share of the bookings were regular sex dates. At one point that contrast started to wring. Along with the irregular work schedule, that was the main reason for quitting at the time.”
So here again applies that the ideal potential escort is not only looking for glitter and glamor. You should just as well be satisfied with two hours of eroticism in a local hotel. Melanie: “It can simply vary enormously: if you are only in it for that luxury life and already imagine yourself among Louis Vuitton bags, then you simply should not do it. It is of course possible that in the long term you will be able to build up a sustainable customer base, but that requires some investment. You have to take the time and effort to do that.”
3. You are selling a fairy tail
For a simple sexual encounter, a person can normally also visit the red light district. That is faster and above all much cheaper than a lady like Jill or Melanie. If you decide to pay a monthly salary for the presence of a high class escort, then it is not just about the sex. Everything that precedes or follows is just as important.
After all, Jill must not only be able to cope with handcuffs or doggy style, but also be able to talk about current events and the meaning of life. In addition to being erotic, the clientele also wants to be challenged intellectually. Moreover, the ladies are the client’s biggest fan for the hours booked: talking about his special hobbies, laughing loudly at his jokes and enamored giggles that are – almost – indistinguishable from the real thing. A horny fantasy, as long as the agreement lasts.
Sometimes that’s easy, other times it takes more effort. “If there is no connection on a personal level, it can be exhausting. It may sound crazy, but the sex is then the easiest part. Keeping the conversation going and then appearing genuinely interested is an art in itself”, says Jill. When Melanie left for the Maldives with a client for two weeks, it also took its toll: “It was fun in itself, but you have to force it a bit. He’s not only expecting sex, but also that you continuously take on the role of the perfect girlfriend. After such a play you go bed exhausted every night.”
According to Melanie, you really have to enjoy putting a smile on someone’s face like that. Ultimately, it’s about the satisfaction of whoever pays for the experience. “My enjoyment was also important, but the customer does not pay for that.”
4. You need to be able to stand your ground
As a high class escort you are in the highest, and therefore the safest, segment of the sex work sector. To avoid dire situations as much as possible, an extensive screening of the customer precedes each date. It is also discussed what the client desires and whether the desired escort can meet that. “My agency knows what I enjoy and what I am not open to. Does the client want anal sex? In any case, he can’t book me”, says Jill.
The same was true for Melanie, both think that protection from the escort agency has ensured that – thank god – they never crossed their borders. But that does not mean that clients did not push these boundaries every now and then. “Then you have to be able to stand your ground. I know that resilience is one of the most important characteristics on which the escorts at Society Service are selected”, says Jill. She herself sometimes has a customer who went too fast for her taste: “Then I just said that I would rather chat a bit longer.”
It happened often enough that Melanie had to do things that didn’t exactly turn her on, but as long as that was kept within limits, it has never been a problem. “I once had to suck and lick the nipples of a customer for a long time. It didn’t arouse me, but it wasn’t bad either. A little crazy at most.”
5. Be prepared for loneliness
Many escorts, including Jill, choose not to share anything with their environment. The fear of blackmail, prejudice or a bad name is too great for that. Not without reason: there is still a huge stigma attached to (extra) earning as a sex worker. “That’s quite frustrating: you can be very satisfied with what you do, but society disapproves anyway”, says Jill. Melanie recognizes this: “I worked as a sex worker for quite some time, also in another place, but no one I knew in the profession was an addict or did sex work out of money shortage. There are of course damaged women who do this, but the majority is not. Those prejudices are persistent and simply untrue.”
It can feel like a fantastic journey on your own: great fun, but a pity that you can hardly share it with anyone. And that while there are plenty of high-profile things happening: “The only person I can share that with is my agent”, Jill confesses. She has sometimes flirted with the idea of telling her secret to a close friend. But until now, a year later, the advantages of this still do not outweigh the disadvantages. There is no contact with the people who understand her life par excellence, her colleagues, outside of a joint booking or striptease course: “Also for privacy reasons.”
What remains for many women is lying to the people they love most. And that hurts, no matter how much you enjoy the work. You shouldn’t spend too much time on that. Or, if you decide to share your double life with your environment, you must be able to tolerate their possible disapproval. “Some friends said: great that you do this, but I don’t need to hear about it. Of course they thought something about it. Too bad, but I never blamed them. That’s how society looks at this work”, Melanie recalls.
6. These experiences are also part of your history
Melanie has not been an escort for a number of years, but the impact of her ex-job is still lurking in the background. Due to the stigma, the nature of the work and the experiences she had then, something did change. “You have to be aware that you will carry this work with you for a lifetime. At the time I did not realize that, but now, years later and in a relationship, I notice that my sexual experience is different than I wish. Sometimes I find myself re-enacting a play and not taking care of my own enjoyment in the bedroom. That’s undesirable in a happy relationship, to say the least”, she says.
Moreover, it remains something you will have to confess to loved ones for a long time, if not all of your life. And that is painful, Melanie can tell from her own experience: “I kept it hidden from my current boyfriend for months, for fear of his reaction. The longer I waited, the greater the threshold became. When I finally told him, he was terrified. He also noticed that I could not always enjoy sex properly, a number of sessions with a sexologist were not an unnecessary luxury.”
She has a desire to have children, but is also afraid that those years as a sex worker will leave a mark on motherhood. Melanie would never want to share her secret with her children: “You don’t want your kids to see their mother as a whore.” Her choices should not negatively affect the lives of her future offspring. But that does mean there would be a secret between them from day one.
But make no mistake: it is not all negative effects that Melanie has gained from her time as an escort – by no means. It has also positively shaped her: “It has made me a lot more confident. Even the ugliest places of my body have been worshiped and a lot of money has been paid for them.” Despite the lies, raw edges and lonely moments, Melanie and Jill would choose this work again in a heartbeat. Jill: “This is the ideal job for me now, but it should definitely suit you. As long as you stand your ground, are adventurous and have thought about it carefully, I would absolutely recommend it. It can bring you a lot, and I’m not talking about just money. Those stories should be told more often.”