Vrouw Glossy

01/11/2016

Vrouw Glossy on how to meet a rich man

On November 1st, magazine Vrouw Glossy published an item on how to meet a rich man and interviewed owner Marike for it. The original article was published in Dutch but an English translation can be found below.

This is how you date rich men

Always enough money and no other problems than luxury problems, shall I get three or four pairs of Louboutins? Journalist Tosca Sel sometimes dreams of having a rich husband. But how do you get one? She researched the art of gold digging!

I don’t know about you guys but every now and then I dream of having a rich husband. Not the man himself because I am already engaged to a super nice guy, but for the freedom it would provide. Don’t get me wrong: as a journalist I have a comfortable life with an average income, but I can’t always do what I want. Sometimes I can not do my grocery shopping at the end of the month because I have spent too much. And not for a long shot can I go on all the weekend trips and buy all the beautiful leather bags that I want. 

This month was an other one during which I didn’t have a log of money, so I decided to join Suggerdaddy.com, where you meet rich men who pay you for a date with a younger woman. I am 32, rather amusing company and I enjoy good food, so why not get paid doing that with a rich guy? I created a profile, added a picture and patiently waited for responses. Aside from a man in a wheelchair who was willing to pay for my company if it included sex, I received no messages. The phenomena apparently is not that popular in The Netherlands as it is in the United States. But then how do I find a suggerdaddy to support me? Talking to several experts taught me four important lessons. In case you have any golddigger ambitions, I recommend you follow them. 

LESSON 1: SELECT YOUR AUDIENCE

Rich men come in all forms and shapes, with as a major difference: old money and nouveau riche. The first category you can forget about it if it’s just a bout the money. “Old money does not like gold diggers,” says Kees Schiferli, and he knows best. He is a professional matchmaker, grew up in Bilthoven and is rather familiar with the upper middleclass. Once upon a time he was a headhunter for media- and communication functions, nowadays he matches rich ‘boyfriends and girlfriends’. For 2500 to 5000 euro he finds them a suitable partner. “Old money grew up with style and class,” he clarifies. “They want a financially independent woman by their side, whom they respect. A woman without any real accomplishments is not suitable. Such a woman can not be taken to parties, she will not fit in. At the nouveau riche, the bling bling type, things are very different. They just look for a representable woman. There’s nothing wrong with that, there’s a perfect partner for everybody.” Kees Schiferli does not match gold diggers, he does not have a matching partner for them. So, with the nouveau riche your chances are greater if you where not born in a rich family. Having said that, I wonder how rich my dream man would need to be. Research by the American Princeton University, people with an annual income of 58.000 euro (around 5000 per month) are the happiest. More money does not make you happier, it only makes you more satisfied. And you have more money for things such as boats and breast implants, that too.

LESSON 2: THE HUNTING GROUND

When I ask around on Facebook if anybody knows where all the rich men hang out, a friend who is doing well with his software company tells me: “They are at work! The money has to come from somewhere, doesn’t it?” Point taken. Rich men who are not ready for their pension are at work, just like anybody else. And at work a lot, or they wouldn’t be that rich. The easiest place to meet your new lover is therefore: at work. Let your eyes do the work at your next office party. Your collective agreement should tell you how much your colleagues are making and that information can make that ‘boring sales guy’ look just a little bit more attractive. 

All those young rich men at work also explains why I only meet fun but old men at the clubhouse of the local golfcourse on a Friday afternoon. And according to matchmaker Kees Schiferli they aren’t always that rich. “Golf has become a common sports. Polo, horse races and public events in ‘t Gooi, Bloemendaal and Wassenaar, that’s where you meet them.” And where else to hunt in the wild? Marike van der Velden runs escort agency Society Service, loved by rich men, and knows: “You will not meet them in trendy bars in the bigger cities. When these men get home from work they are not interested in a place where they have to fetch their own cocktail. They do fun things with other rich men, like fancy dining and cigar smoking in cigar clubs. Don’t try the Miljonair Fair either, only wannabe rich men are there and the men who are actually rich all have their wives with them. They do however go to boytoy events, such as exhibitions of luxury cars or the Hiswa Boat Show.” I didn’t have much succes at Sugardaddy.com, but there must be a place online where rich man meet. Jasper Jan de Konink van datingsite e-Matching things his platform attracts above average wealthy people. Of the subscribed men that do enter their income (not mandatory), at least 72% lists an ‘above average’ or ‘higher’ income. “But most men will not share how much money they are making, it’s usually just men making a lot of money who do. Or they exaggerate to make them look more attractive.”

LESSON 3: FLIRTTIPS

Did you find a place where rich men gather, then make sure to make contact with them. Hunting for rich men is best done in a group of small women, according to Kees Schiferli: “You need to sit or stand somewhere that makes you look approachable to men. You want him to be able to step into the group and say something like: ‘Are the ladies here having some fun?’ That’s a nice opening for a conversation. Do not go out alone. A lady sitting alone might be waiting for an appointment and you do not want to embarras her when her husband or date walks in.” If you are talking to a nice man, how do you let him know you like him? Tijn van Ewijk of MasterFlirt teaches lessons in flirting and has developed the perfect tactics for this: “When you are talking to a man about an activity, such as visiting a concert, walk on the beach, or bowlen, you say: ‘I would love to do that with a nice man such as yourself.’ This way he knows he can invite you without being blown off.”

LESSON 4: HOW IS IT DONE?

So, rich men can be found in places where other rich men are. Probably not your natural habitat, or you wouldn’t need to look for that type of man. How do you make sure you don’t stand out, negatively? First, find out how the rich dress: go on a safari trip to the Gooi area and make nots. And fake it til you make it, says Marike van der Velden of Society Service, who often works with ladies that are not from the same social environment as the man who books her. “Some of the ladies are students and students usually don’t regularly dine in michelin star restaurants. They are trained in etiquette by a butler but what I always tell them: copy your date until you know how it’s done. This is called mirroring. When you copy the behavior of your date, for example by how he uses his silverware or approaches the waiter, he will subconsciously like you more and you will not do something wrong that easily. In addition, the staff at a luxurious restaurant is trained to make guests feel as comfortable as possible. They will not tell you if you are doing something wrong. The less you draw attention to it, the less your date will notice you are not used to the setting.” In terms of dressing she has a last essential tip: “When men look at you, it must be because you are the most beautiful woman in the room. Not the most trashy one. So when in doubt about your outfit, it is better to go for something more conservative than something too sexy.” With these lessons in mind I’ll head to the lobby of The Concertbuilding next month. Wearing a fancy black dress and freshly manicured nails I must be able to meet a rich guy. Perhaps for a chat and some wine, perhaps for dinner, perhaps for the rest of the life. And now let’s hope my fiancé is okay with that…