RTL Weekend Magazine about couples who book an escort
In September 2017 RTL Weekend Magazine from The Netherlands published an article on their website on how to spice things up in te bedroom. Several options where offered, from visiting an erotic party to booking a high class escort for a bisexual threesome. The article was published in Dutch but below you can find a summary in English.
Escorts and sexy parties: experimenting for a better relationship
Having been together for years, a few kids, busy job. The sex? Meh. More and more couples refuse to settle for this. They are looking for excitement in couple clubs and lingerie parties. And also Charlotte and her husband: “The escort caressed my back, my upper leg, winked at my husband, the atmosphere got more and more playful and I felt excitement building.
Keeping a longtime relationship great is hard work. And when it comes to the bedroom, you should not loose sight of this aspect of the relationship. A sexologist is often asked the question; how do you keep things spicy in the bedroom? “Couples with a long time relationship often get bored in the bedroom. It might seem as if they no longer desire sex, but that’s not the case. A long time partner might be inhibiting. There is a lot of trust and love in such a relationship, but not so much eroticism and arousal. That’s why couples in their forties often try to discover new stimulates. New stimulation can be found in a new love. But that’s often not desired when they are in a relationship or marriage with children. Therefore it might be fun to look for this excitement within the relationship.
Madame Homard recognizes this development. She organizes small, exciting parties at special locations – a boat or castle, with as a dresscode: lingerie. The parties are held every other month for two to three hundred people. The parties are in high demand, specially amongst the 35-plus who want to boost their sexily. Madame Homard: “If you have been together for a longer time, looking at the same partner, your sex life is usually not that exciting anymore. You need to work at it. Usually one of the two has an affair and looks for this excitement elsewhere. With these parties I want to make sure couples have an exciting experience together, and develop what else lies within their horizon.”
Barbara (36, two children, teacher) and her husband Guido (39, representative) visit the parties of Madame Homard regularly:
“We have had two children and after fifteen years it was important to us to still feel the excitement within our relationship. We started looking. We had tried a thing or two. Sex at special locations, beautiful lingerie. But then we learned about these parties. And by now we really enjoy visiting such parties. The locations alone are so stunning, instantly making it a special location. We look forward to it every time. The first time I was very nervous. I thought the men would dominate the women, but that’s not the case at all. It’s really the women who flirt and dance, with much more respect than the average bar.”
“And obviously: if interested, you can have fun with an other couple. We never have. There’s a couple we often meet at the parties, we enjoy having fun together at our homes and have enjoyed holidays together in Ibiza. I can honestly say it’s been an expansion for our sexily. Until now this was the boost we have been looking for. But within the relationship with the other couple we have really grown. We know each other very well, have gotten to know each other very well and there’s an established trust relationship. Therefore, much more is possible, there’s no jealousy. I even enjoy seeing my husband have sex with her. I feel like I have rediscovered our sex life. It’s nice to share this with your husband.”
Marike van der Velden, owner of Society Service and author of the book Escort Bijbel have also experienced more and more couples in a long term relationship booking with her. “We can really notice more and more couples being open in their relationship and enjoying luxurious parties together. But they also book escorts and gigolos. That was very different five years ago.”
Charlotte (41, works in healthcare, two children) and her husband Stef (44, works at an IT company) booked an escort:
“Approximately five years ago I decided to come clean to my husband about having had a lover. A the time being, the lover was no longer in the picture but I had noticed how feeling desired had changed me. I no longer wanted to betray my husband and decided to no longer cheat but see if I could find this excitement within our relationship. Turned out; my husband had also had an affair. We spoke about it for months, open, without judgement, how this had affected us and our relationship. How we could get these positive feelings inserted in our relationship, without the negative feelings of guilt.”
“We decided to visit an erotic party. At the party I received a kiss from an other woman, and this is how ‘sex with an other woman’ sneaked into our fantasies. My husband and I discovered the options. We visited a “clothing optional” resort and booked a few tantra massages. But we never found ourselves in a situation where we both liked a woman, she liked us, without her partner needing to be involved. We read the book Escort Bijbel and decided to contact Marike. I spoke to her about our ‘desires’ for the escort: at least in her late twenties, normal body type and down to earth personality. Someone with the confidence to take the lead. Planning and setting up the booking was a piece of cake. Two days later she visited us at our fun suite with bubblebath that we had booked for the occasion.”
“As time of the arrival of the escort approached, my husband and I got more and more nervous. The first fifteen minutes I was shaking like a little leaf. She was just as beautiful, warm, attentive and fun as we had imagined. After a while and few glasses of champagne, I relaxed a bit. It all went really naturally. The escort caressed my back every now and then, my upper leg, and winked at my husband. The atmosphere was playful and tension was building. Her caresses got more and more intimate, and before I knew it, we where kissing. I caressed her as well and it didn’t take long before we got undressed.“
“From the corner of my eyes I watched my husband getting more comfortable as well. By now, his jacket and shoes were off. The escort took my husband and me to the bed. I lied on it and she started kissing and caressing me al over my body. When I was about to loose it, she took off my panties and used her fingers and tongue to pleasure me. My husband was lying next to me in his underwear, enjoying the view. I reached my first orgasm while the escort and my husband were still in their underwear. We took an other glass of champagne and stepped into the bubblebath. We chatted a bit and went for a second round. The second round in the bath was more intense. Everything you imagine from a threesome. Exciting positions, my husband with me, my husband with the escort, a few toys here and there, you name it. It was blissful, intens and passionate. Better than I had imagined.”
“We fell straight asleep after the escort left but she remained part of many of our fantasies. It has positively influenced our sex life and has made our connection stronger. We have done this together and it generated a boost in the confidence we have in each other. We are not looking to be in an open relationship, we want to try, discover and experience everything together. We have now booked a few female escorts and next time we will be booking a gigolo.“
Miranda (39, married, two children) and her husband Fabian (44) visit couple and swinger clubs:
“My libido was completely gone. I had even visited several doctors to check what was wrong. Through a befriended couple, we ended up at a swingers club I feel like this works for me. At a swingers club you have the freedom and opportunity to realize your fantasies. It has improved our seksfilm Not because we are having sex with other people, but also because it’s a whole new world we have entered. Better sex and an improved relationship. We do not have to go behind each others’ back, because we are both enjoying it. This way you learn to trust each other more.”
Sexologist Astrid Kremers agrees this type of endeavors can boost your sex life: “The older you get, the more it takes to get aroused. And in a long term relationship, it takes even more.” In her practice she often meets women who are bored sexually, men are often more satisfied. “Erotic parties, swingers clubs, all things that can arouse and excite you. If you are both enjoying it and you experience doing this together as a new impuls for your sex life, I can only applaud you.” Madame Homard completely agrees: “I often see how the confidence of the visitors of our parties -and I mean mostly the women- grows. And when people are happy and cheerful when they leave the party and you learn the party continued in their bedroom, I am very happy.”